Surrender like nobody is watching
Yesterday evening, I went to a beautiful water temple, located in the mountains of the North of Ubud. On my way to do a traditional purification ritual. It was a pitch-black night, a ‘no-moon/new moon evening, which made it very mysterious. The residing powers in Bali felt even more intense. While driving up with my good-old-love-you-long-time-friend and Qigong Master Per van Spall, who so generously offered to guide me through the upcoming purification, I was thinking about the intentions I wanted to set for this cleansing ritual. Basically, for me that is always more or less the same; letting go of the old, and that which no longer serves me, so I am able to clear space for the new. While humming along with some 80s bangers Per was playing in the car, I felt a very profound urge to let go of any restrictions in my life related to what I can and cannot be, derived from deep programming that (I let) happen in my life. This deep longing to take my power back, to be who I know I am, but never fully allowing or embracing it. So, the intention I set for myself was to reclaim ‘me’ and to commit to the mission that I came here to bring on planet Earth. My deep longing to serve humanity in the best way that I can, and whatever was in the way, to let go.
When we arrived at Tegalalang, we were greeted by the Mangku, the priest of this ancient old Hindu temple, next to a beautiful loving couple responsible for the Sebatu temple, which has been in their family for generations. How lucky was I to receive a private Balinese healing ceremony with these beautiful, powerful souls, opening their sacred space solely for me?!
After grounding and settling in, we walked up to the elevated part of the temple, to me the most holy place of the complex, guarded by a 5/6-meter-high statue rising up to the sky, covered in moss and plants. It made me feel so small yet so powerful, sensing that it is not just me Irene, but that I am part of something much larger and that I can choose to tap into it anytime I want.
While Wayan and his wife were preparing the offerings and flowers, the Mangku started his prayers. We joined in, sat down on the ground behind him and went into meditation. We began to free our minds as much as possible, to connect with the Gods and energies showing up, who would serve our intentions tonight, to achieve the highest possible outcome. Within minutes I was in such a relaxed state, I almost felt high. After blessings and thanking the Gods and ancestors for coming in, the ritual was sealed with holy water, flower leaves behind my ears and rice on my forehead, ready to move to the next part of the ceremony, the water pools.
Per explained to me the pool on the left side represented the feminine energy, and on the right side the masculine. You could also notice this by the statues placed above each fountain, being female figures on the left and male figures on the right. I stepped into the water starting at the feminine side, as I knew that would be an ‘easier ride’ for me. The water was cold but also very refreshing. As instructed by Per, I welcomed each female figure by looking up to her with my hands in prayer, connecting with her face and energy, to feel what she would represent for me at this point in life. I forgot to count how many of these beautiful creatures were staring back at me but I think around 6/7. As I moved from one to the other, one of the major messages that showed up was, “you’ve got this, don’t over complicate life, rise above the stuff that pulls you down, simplify and enjoy the ride”. This message made me feel very calm and free.
After I moved to the masculine energy pool I got instructed by my ‘gurus’ to let go more, to go all the way and make this an opportunity of a lifetime, to release whatever I could release, and so I did (thank you ‘masculine energy’, I guess you were my biggest trigger to release my shit ;)…. Even though I thought I went all the way during my first attempt, I could only see after the second purification part that I hadn’t even touched the surface of what was about to come. Man oh man, did that feel good but exhausting at the same time. A lot of old stuff found its way to the surface and I could feel its movement down my spine yet to be released. I felt proud and grateful that I was able to get that deep with the help of the ‘invisible-visible’ around me.
An important lesson that showed up was that you can always go further, by surrendering deeper, and letting go of the mind and ego of how you are supposed to be or look. Surrendering like nobody’s watching, at your deepest level, giving up control, allowing and trust to be guided by something bigger than you, by a power that is a part of you, by the power that is you. This is not only applicable when you are getting a private purification session in one of the most beautiful temples in Bali, guided by one of your soulmates, it is applicable in everything you do in life. Trust the guidance, trust the process, trust the flow, and above all trust YOU.
You are magical, never forget that.
With Love
Irene
